Such bliss to be trendy! You sip a cappuccino on a Paris quai, languidly riffling through the foxed pages of your most recent incunabulary acquisition, a 1495 edition of Ovid’s Ars amatoria, purchased from a bouquiniste’s stall pitched on the parapets along the slow-flowing Seine. Past your table saunters a learned throng of students ambling toward the Sorbonne.
To your cappuccino-tasting companion, you comment on how Starbuck’s, hot coffee merchants, had to tidy up their corporate logo of a mermaid in the United States . American evangelical cross-clutchers gasped in offended holiness as they imagined that the rippling waves under the mermaid’s split tail fin were obscene, pudendal, alarming. Ewwwww! A sea-going yoni in the middle of a God-fearin’ Amurrican coffee shop. Summon the Marines! “Yes, soldier, eyes left! Possible yonic visual reference in public food emporium.” On second thought, belay that summons to the Marines, mate. They might attempt to mount the mermaid logo.
Any hint of female sexual power naturally dismays and frightens worthy Christian gentlemen of the Rapture-awaiting right-wing. Why, if I even gaze upon such soul-corrupting filth, I might be given a rain check on Rapture day! Eek! For, of course, these sexist bigots and spiritual twits are the same evangelical rocket scientists who put Bush and Cheney in power; so it’s no strain to calibrate their collective brain mass and its approximate equivalence to the weight of one hair from the Dynel wig of Tammy Faye Baker or one tress from the twat of Sarah Palin.
Let us therefore press on to matters of weightier import, to wit, the origin of the coffee term, cappuccino. A cappuccino is a coffee drink made of espresso, steamed milk, and milk foam. Espresso is an Italian past participle meaning “pressed out.” A coffee-making machine invented in Italy at the beginning of the 20th century contains a pump that presses or forces hot water through fine-ground coffee. The expressed coffee is thick and sweet and rich. Steamed milk foam is beaten into the espresso and a daub of frothy, foamy milk from the top of the steaming milk pitcher is floated on the surface of the coffee. That’s a cappuccino.